Okay, Mr. Twyford, I hope that you can explain yourself…you had to see this coming, even 100 years ago.

Yesterday as I was preparing taco’s for lunch, I heard a deafening, “No! Ew!” “Help! Mary, Help!” “This is disgusting!” It had happened. We have had near gross encounters of the first and second kind before, but nothing like this. If you’ve ever seen the “Bee Movie” you probably recall the bathroom scene where Barry (the bee…and this movie is so inaccurate, I mean first of all no bee wears a sweater. Their into t-shirts. Anyway, I digress) is nearly flushed down the toilet and in an impressive surfing maneuver sprays toilet water into Ken’s face. Obviously this whole scenario is preceded by Ken’s (human male) jealousy of Barry’s (bee) friendship with Vanessa (human female). Okay, so to get back to the bathroom, the voice played by Patrick Warburton exclaims,” Ew, poo water.”

Ken, I agree with you “poo water” is gross. Any parent, and for emphasis, ANY parent will tell you that at some point their kid has been discovered reaching in and splashing the water inside of the toilet. You grab the kid as fast as you can and then a bathing marathon ensues. Wash and re-wash and then some more.

Thomas William Twyford envisioned and created a precedent flushing toilet. Think of the leap from outdoor to indoor plumbing…but how many kids splashed water in the outhouse? Can you imagine the moment of realization when he placed that toilet in the house and his kids started playing in it? Those famous last words, “What have I done?! Not only have I brought the places we poo into our homes, but made it a splash park!”

Fast forward 100 years and my son is seen splashing in the toilet and as my husband notices that this porcelain throne has gone from a seat of meditation to an arena of fun, my son rubs the water all over face. So I come back to you Mr Twyford, thank you for bringing my restroom out of the cold outdoors and my son thanks you for the free splash park.