My life is full of children, family, home, land, bees, work, love, laughter and everyday life.
My Monthly Calendar. Because my life is too crazy to keep track of without it.
My husbands iphone. It's applications are really useful and easy to get too!
Our Quicken finance software. Because it's nice to remember that you actually had money before paying the bills.
Coupon ads. They are the best way to save at the grocery store and finding them is like a scavenger hunt.
DVR. Because even a homemaker needs a break when the kids are asleep.
I’ve only been an au pair and the family baby sitting slave. I don’t have any kids of my own…yet…
But I loved time-outs as a means of punishment. It lets the kids know that not only am I not interested in watching their bad behavior, but they’re not going to get any attention during the punishment either.
With older kids I also had consequence punishments: If you don’t do your homework, you can’t go to the pool. If you don’t clean your room, you can’t have friends over. We would always follow up with a discussion of why there were consequences, and how to make better choices. For example, ask Cait for help with homework and get to the pool faster. Ask Cait for help with the room and maybe she’ll even help tidy again after the friends leave.
Your little guy is absolutely adorable in his fit there. Granted, I can’t actually hear the fit and don’t have to be subjected to its entirety. So it’s much easier for me to see the cuteness…
Those pictures are hilarious. We’ve mostly used time-outs for punishment and they’ve been very effective. Boo generally comes out and apologizes for what she’s done without prompting. But I don’t know if you can even call them a time-out, since we put her in her room. Full of toys and her computer. It’s more like a time out from Mom, since she and I are the ones who tend to butt heads. We’re too much alike.
When my children were smaller, they would have to go to their room and lose a privilege such as watching television or going outside to play with friends. As they got older, they would lose telephone, cell phone and internet time ~ and for a pre-teen or a teen, taking those things away is like cutting off a limb! It gets their attention really, really quick.
I really like that show as well. I was watching the parents in an interview about discipline and the mom, Michelle, says that when she is angry she lowers her voice and talks softer instead of yelling. I tried that but I forget and just start yelling anyway. Oh well. My kids have to sit in the “naughty chair” which is the same as time out. It works well for most things. My older child gets the naughty chair but also has privileges taken away if needed. Then…if worst comes to worst (and this doesn’t happen but once in a blue moon cuz the threat of this is worse than anything) they get a swat on the butt. But the naughty chair is usually our daily discipline.
We have “the green chair” as our time out chair. They know where to go when we say “go to the green chair”. It’s just a chair in our front room that happens to be green. It works REALLY well with our daughter (child #1), but when we put our son (child #2) in it, our other son (#3) runs over too because he likes to make child #2 laugh during time out. Then I get screeching from child #3! We’ve had to resort to sending the oldest or second oldest to their room to calm down, but it’s hard to send both at the same time because they share a room
The lippiness from our oldest (she turned five this past September) and the grunts are getting sooooo annoying. I’d love to know how others get over this part. Do you ignore it? Do you punish for it? Do you grunt back?
We’re sticking with our “green chair” punishment for now, with the room being the last straw.
Luckily my son is only 10 months and I don’t have to discipline him yet, I’m not looking forward to that!
One thing I’ve seen is taking away ‘privileges’. My friends did this with their 3 year old daughter when she would get out of bed at night (they were having problems keeping her in bed.) They would give her a warning if she was out of bed for no reason and then the next time they would take away one privilege and then two if she did it again (which it usually only took one.) Her privileges were as simple as choosing which juice they were drinking at lunch or dinner (which she loved doing, so losing it was very sad to her.) If you are doing something like this it HAS to be something the child will be upset about not being able to do, or it will not work. And you have to follow through the next day or they will not believe your threats. (I know the theories, but we’ll see if I can follow them through!)
I have always thought they let their kids run a little wild. I don’t know how she handled them acting like that when they lived in the really little house. I try to find logical consequences for misbehavior. I like the ones you listed, I would have done the exact same things. The only really harsh one I ever used was hot sauce for biting. It only took two times and it cured my biter. I cried both times, though. (not where he could see)
Both kids require different disciplinary tactics. My 7 year old daughter? Pretty much I just have to look at her with disappointment on my face and she crumbles. Like a dry cookie. My son? The 3 year old? So far timeouts are working. We always make him say “sorry”. And he usually doesn’t do the same thing again. He just moves up the ladder to bigger and better ways to do ‘naughty.’
Mindy
http://www.thesuburbanlife.com
timeouts for Cameron, 6, as for Henry, 11 mos, we aren’t there yet. I agree about the Duggars, I am addicted too, but how do they discipline? Also for Cameron we sometimes have to take a prized possesion away that he can earn back with good deeds and behavior. Just a thought!
I’m sorry but I am old and from the old school when no meant no and a good swift swat on a well padded bottom got excellent results. I know, I know today this Ozark chick would be turned in but hey, my children are great, loving responsible adults.
Have a greatly blessed day ya’ll!!!
Jonas totally throws big fits right now too. Tey’re pretty comical sometimes, but I’m the same way: “You threw yourself down there, I’m up here if you want a hug when you’re all done.”
We are definitely a “punishment fits the crime” mentality here. The level of disobedience indicates the level of punishment–firm word, time out, privilege taken, etc.
Love the pictures! I am strict with my kids, but as they get older, strict at an early age has paid off. With my daughter, we did 1-2-3 then consequence. Most of the time it was time out or taking away something she loved. Now when she is getting out of line it just takes 1 or 2 count and it is done. With our son, he spends time in time out where he can see everything else going on and can’t be a part. We have been fortunate, they are very good kids. I am sure it will come back to bite me when they are teenagers!:)
I have teenagers, so I punish by cutting their computer time and curtailing social activities.
I love your blog! I wish we could keep bees. I am allergic to bee stings. I live in suburban Atlanta, though, so I imagine bees might not go over too well, although I know a mom who keeps chickens in her back yard…
My dream is to buy land in the country and start a fish farm and raise goats. My mother thinks that’s a crazy dream. I still like it…
Mmm.. My hubs and I are chasing a two-year-old around and we have very different ways of dealing with her. He uses a loud voice and is very stern when she’s naughty. I’m more of a time-out, ignore fits type. Yelling and spanking seem counter-productive. But I have given her a swift tap on the bum for running away from me in parking lots, where she could get hurt. We are sort of rolling with the punches, and being thankful that our kid is sweet 90% of the time.
Those pictures are great…Anya looks just like Kylee does during her “time outs”. Kylee is also really into back-talking as well. I don’t why this has suddenly started this year…so frustrating.
One thing we do in our house when kids don’t listen and obey is they have to do the hokey-pokey. They have to listen and obey all the instructions. It helps to simmer things down. It helps Ryan and I not get elevated voices by singing the hokey-pokey for them to do. Kylee absolutely hates doing it… and does it with the least amount of effort possible. Ryan and I joke that she will probably run out of her wedding reception screaming if they play the hokey-pokey. Chase on the other hand loves to do the hokey-pokey so we have to do other things with him, like take pivileges away.
Another thing we do when they are not reverent in church is come home sit on chairs and practice being reverent for 10 minutes…seems to be working.
I have a friend that sings to her kids when she is angry at them… for example she will sing… “you are making very upset by not cleaning your room like I asked you too.” I haven’t tried it yet, but it works for her.
I hope things are going well for you guys, we love you and miss you! We think of your family often!
when boy was little, putting him in the corner, sitting on his little chair, facing into the corner was the worst we could do to him. really, he acted like we were pulling out his fingernails and abandoning him to the wolves all in one. he hated it that much. when he got older we’d add in a little guilt, “we’re very disappointed in you.” would garner tears and quick correction of his actions. through it all he always knew he was loved. we always told him that he wasn’t bad but sometimes he did naughty things.
he’s now a strapping 17 year old that i’m very proud of.
I’m sure everyone has a different way of dealing with their kids that works for them. For me, as a single parent, I spanked. I learned early on that a swift spanking (not a beating but it’s a shame I even have to say that) followed by massive hugs & I love yous and making sure he understood why the spanking and that he was clear on what was acceptable behavior and what wasn’t. He was never in fear but he knew his boundaries, which is the whole point of the spanking – training him to know what is right & wrong. It was over with quickly, not dragged out, not used to beat him over the head with, no guilt or condemnation – just a “this is the rule and you broke it & this is why we don’t break that rule” then we went on to have a great day.
Funny thing is, it would be months before anything else happened that might require discipline like that but it was never the same infraction. He’s 27 now and a great guy, great sense of humor and no, his spirit wasn’t beaten out of him (as one proponent of spanking said to me once, that I was breaking his spirit).
I must say that by and large I am really pleased with this website.After reading your post I can tell you are well informed about your writing. Looking forward to future posts.Cheers!