by the Provident Woman | November 22nd, 2009
Have you ever been in an elevator with background music or driving in the car while talking with a friend, the radio playing something in the background. You know that it’s there but you’re really tuned into the conversation. Some time ago, I had asked Clint to do something. He was playing with the kids.
A little later, “Clint, can you please…” He was walking around the house.
And again, “Clint, I really need you to…” He was watching television.
Finally I stand in front of him and with a more frustrated voice, “I need you to…”
He acted surprised and says “Well, why didn’t you just ask me to do it, you don’t need to get upset.”
“I’ve asked you several times, you keep ignoring me.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t hear you…” He has this look on his face and I can tell he’s thinking of something. Then he says with a mischievous smile on his face, “You know how you can have elevator music in the background and you don’t realize that it’s playing. I guess I just didn’t hear you.”
“So…I’m elevator music!”
“No, it’s just that the other day I heard that some scientists researched that the sound frequencies of a woman’s voice are just right so that men often can’t pick them up…you know like dogs, people and dog whistles.”
“Oh, they’re just saying that as an excuse. And you know some man did that research.” That must be why my son doesn’t listen to me either.
I have a husband and 2 grown sons…of course, this has happened to me! I have just never heard the “woman frequency vs. man hearing” theory! It could explain a lot…but leaves them with a scientific excuse, that I am not buying!
When it seems that my husband isn’t paying attention to me I do one of two things: I will either stare at him intently until he notices or I will flick him in the forehead. The latter one is not advisable.
My husband’s never compared me to elevator music. But when my in-laws had their hearing tested, they have both lost hearing in the range of each other’s voices. Nice, huh?
Well, in my case, DH is hard of hearing. So unless we are looking straight at each other, I know he doesn’t understand me. It can be hard when the kids are vying for attention…
This happens to me and to him. There are times when I am lost in a book and my kids will be asking me a question and I don’t hear at all. So I’m guilty of it too.
I think that happens to every wife! One way I’ve learned to make sure he is listening is to get a response from him before AND after I ask him to do something. It works over half of the time.
And just to say something about the dog whistles and stuff… YEAH RIGHT! Men’s fundamental frequency (the base frequency in the voice) is from 85 to 155 Hz, and that of a typical adult female from 165 to 255 Hz. Our hearing range is from 20Hz to 20,000 Hz. A dog whistle is within the range of 16 kHz to 22 kHz. I got my Bachelors Degree in Audiology and Speech Language Pathology so I learned all this stuff (and can’t do anything with it unless I go to grad school!)
Big Buckaroo tells me that men are so focused they can only do one thing at a time effectively. So, if he is watching t.v., he does not hear me. If he is building something with the kids, he does not hear me. If he is reading a book, he does not hear me. So……now, after I have bought something I really wanted, he will say “when did you get that new dutch oven?” I just say, we talked about it while you were building the Titanic with Legos. You did not say that I should not buy it, so I went ahead and got it. Um hmmm, use it to your advantage.
The Park Wife
in our house it’s the opposite. i have a hearing loss from loud music/concerts and ear infections. because of that my ability hear lower frequency sounds is impaired. needless to say bran’s voice (being baritone) is low frequency and gets lost in the sounds of traffic, the television, ambient noise of a crowd. he keeps accusing me of ignoring him.
i don’t…most of the time.
Yes! Just today. Before he got out of the truck I said, “I have your credit card in my purse.” He got out, put gas in the truck, walked in to pay for it, stopped and rifled through his wallet, I rolled down the window and said, “I have your other credit card” but he walked on into the store. Later on, he got back in the truck and asked me, “Did I give you a credit card of mine earlier today?” I said, “What am I, chopped liver? I told you twice I had your credit card.” “Oh, I guess I didn’t hear you. Well, maybe I heard you but I was concentrating on something else and didn’t realize what you said.” Hmmm must be that dog whistle voice of mine!
Does this happen to me? Um…like on a daily, sometimes hourly basis! I’m telling you, there is something written in their DNA which turns off their listening button…unless they are listening to something like a football game on the radio. THEN they have supersonic eardrums. Oh, I can relate. =)
Mindy
http://www.thesuburbanlife.com
Write it down. THey can’t really ignore that!